Is obedience the same as submission? I’m not so sure.
Obedience is about action. Compliance. Doing what you’re told. Someone can be obedient and never actually submit. They can follow rules, perform rituals, and hit every protocol on the list, but still hold themselves back. Still withhold the softest, most genuine parts of who they are.
That’s not submission. That’s task completion.
Submission, to me, is deeper. It’s an offering—not just of behavior, but of presence. Energy. Intent. A willingness to lean in and let go—not from a place of defeat, but from trust. Choice. Alignment.
And then there’s surrender, which is even deeper still. Surrender is soul-level. It’s the cracking open. The holy “yes.” It’s what happens when reverence is present—when there’s safety, devotion, and sacredness in the dynamic. That kind of surrender can’t be forced. It can’t be performed. It has to be earned, held, and witnessed.
Because here’s what I’ve been sitting with:
Submission without reverence becomes resignation.
Surrender without sacredness becomes scarcity.
I’ve felt that in my own life.
For a long time, I was obedient to my assignment. I kept showing up, doing the work, checking the boxes. Not submitting—resisting submission. Because submission didn’t feel safe, and after a while, the process started to feel soulless. Robotic. Like I was grinding through something I used to love.
I was on the verge of resenting what I once felt called to.
And then… I didn’t just submit.
I surrendered.
But not to someone else. Not to a Dominant, or a partner, or even the work.
I surrendered to myself.
I submitted to the process.
I surrendered to the divine rhythm inside me.
And I realized—I am my first submissive.
And I am my first Dominant.
The ultimate power exchange is with oneself.
So when we talk about obedience, submission, and surrender, maybe the real question isn’t “how do these look in dynamics with others?”
Maybe it’s: how do they look in your relationship with yourself?
Let’s talk about it.
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